According to Scientific American magazine, more than 90 percent of people lie in their online dating profiles. Women in their 20s and 30s slyly deduct anywhere from five to 20 lbs. from their weight, while men tend to lie about income, education level and, yes, relationship status. Yikes.

Here, we count the ways regular folks get creative while creating sexier versions of themselves online.

FIB #1: “I’m slim and petite” or “Tall and well-built”

Translation: “I was slim and petite or tall and well-built 15 years ago. I haven’t accepted the fact that I’m no longer a skinny, sexy young thing, and I know that potential dates won’t accept it either, so I take liberties with my self-description and hope you won’t notice the additional 20+ lbs. of jelly I’ve accumulated since the days when my profile photos were taken.”

FIB #2: “I’m tall, dark and handsome.”

Translation: “I’m average in height, looks and style. Simply … average. Nothing more, nothing less.”

Yup — according to Medical News Today, 52.6 percent of men lie about their height online; 39 percent of women do the same. So if you’re expecting someone tall, dark and handsome, think again. When it comes to internet dating, you’re lucky if your date shows up with a couple of hands and a tongue.

FIB #3: “I’m 29.”

Translation: “I’m an old pro at sites like these, and I know that lowering my age to under-30 will help me turn up in more people’s searches. In reality, I’m getting really effing sick of not having any effing luck on these effing websites and, oh yeah, I’m anywhere between the ages of 35 and 50.”

FIB #4: “As the CEO of a successful internet start-up, I enjoy the finer things in life.”

Translation: “As the founder of a bare-bones mail order business that I run out of my mother’s basement, I enjoy spending every waking second of my time on the internet, watching porn, gambling, and living vicariously through my avatar on SecondLife.com.”

FIB #5: “I’m sensitive, smart and funny.”

Translation: “I’m hyper-sensitive, a pretentious wannabe-intellectual and I just might have Tourette’s syndrome, which makes people laugh sometimes. DICKWEED!”

FIB #6: “I make more than $250,000 per year.”

Translation: “I have grandiose fantasies of winning the lottery or striking gold with an internet porn empire … but for now, to make ends meet, I’m your friendly neighborhood manager at Walgreens.”

Salary is one of the biggest things people — especially men — lie about in their profiles. According to Scientific American, men claiming incomes of more than $250,000 got 151 percent more replies than men claiming incomes less than $50,000. Ugh.

FIB #7: “I’m not big on playing games.”

Translation: “I am utterly, unfortunately devoid of ‘edge.’ My lack of sarcasm will astound you. I pride myself on being a good guy/girl, but I’ve been screwed around by prior partners who couldn’t decide whether the sex was decent enough to continue dating earnest little ol’ me. Now I make sure to let everybody and their mother know that I DON’T PLAY MIND GAMES. Never ever ever.”

FIB #8: “I can’t wait to meet you!”

Translation: “I can’t wait to scope you out in person to see whether you’re worth having sex with—or, at least, determine whether you look anything even remotely like that foxy photo you posted of yourself.”

FIB #9: “I just got out of a long relationship, so I’m mainly looking for friends right now.”

Translation: “Having just escaped a bitter, years-long romantic war, I am damaged goods, and I can’t deal with anything more serious than frenzied sexual escapades to help me temporarily forget my misery. But I know that my chances of getting laid will plummet if I indicate that I’m only interested in slutting it up, so I’ll just say that I’m looking for friendship only.”

FIB #10: “My interests include good wine, live music and fine dining.”

Translation: “I have a well-groomed goatee and I like dancing to cheesy techno at Eurotrash clubs. I love having dates buy my dinner. Oh, and I also really like getting hammered. Shots all around! Take off your top!”

SOURCE ]]> http://www.sugarmaddy.com/sex-relationships/lies-in-online-dating-profiles-film-at-11/feed/ 0 http://www.sugarmaddy.com/porn-for-her/kink-up-your-kindle-bibliophiles/ http://www.sugarmaddy.com/porn-for-her/kink-up-your-kindle-bibliophiles/#comments Thu, 21 Jan 2010 14:30:35 +0000 Maddy http://www.sugarmaddy.com/?p=6240

Below is an excerpt from an article by sex author Violet Blue.

It’s still not as cheap as a subscription to your favorite porn site, but with the way the Kindle has been absorbed by consumers, it’s surprising that we aren’t seeing annoying “Kindle addiction” sites spring up around the net. Faster than a numb journalist can write a headline about nonexistent G-spots, the Kindle’s seemingly everywhere. And though the files are locked up with DRM, they have offered more to content producers for distribution access than analog book distribution models. And for sex, that’s always a good thing.

Want to kink up your Kindle but don’t know where to start? Bay Area publishers and authors bring the sauce on Kindle’s platform, with UK sex writers coming in to fill out what has become a full market of fiction and nonfiction sex lit, much of it made just for the Kindle. However, everyone knows by now that you can’t search the Kindle store for “sex” and actually get any. No, what you need to score for your Kindle is a wingman. Or winggirl.

Kindle’s top 10 erotica bestsellers right now include recommended titles “Guilty Pleasure” by Lora Leigh (#1), “Lust: Erotic Fantasies for Women” (by yours truly, #4), “Frenzy: 60 Stories of Sudden Sex” by Alison Tyler (#6), “The Claiming of Sleeping Beauty” by A. N. Roquelare AKA Anne Rice (#8), and “Total Eclipse of the Heart” by Zane (#9). Two of the top collections come from San Francisco sex publishing powerhouse Cleis Press (cleispress.com). On Kindle they have a bevy of tasty titles, ranging from highbrow erotic literature to sex journalism culled from mainstream majors. Cleis’ hot new 2010 titles on Kindle range from the nonfiction sex essay collection “Best Sex Writing 2010” edited by Rachel Kramer Bussel (rachelkramerbussel.com) and “Special Forces: Gay Military Erotica” edited by Phillip MacKenzie Jr., to “Best Lesbian Romance 2010” edited by Radclyffe and the “Best Women’s Erotica” series.

Click here to read the full article. For the best FREE erotic fiction you can get online, be sure to check out The Lusty Library!

WASHINGTON — The pioneer of media sex therapists, Dr Ruth Westheimer, has teamed up with the city of Washington to promote a 28-day romance stimulus plan for the US capital.

“The word stimulus is a dream. It has something arousing,” Westheimer, who is better known under as Dr Ruth, said at a press conference to announce the partnership.

Dr Ruth will serve as honorary US Secretary of Love and Relations during the month of February — the month of Valentine’s Day — with the brief to “jump-start the District’s love economy.”

Around 16 million tourists, including 1.5 million from abroad, visit Washington every year — but few head to the US capital for a romantic get-away.

In fact, Washington ranked second to last out of 30 US cities that visitors think of as romantic destinations, according to an annual poll to find America’s favorite cities.

Throughout February, Washington will put a new, lovey-dovey spin on its monuments, museums and restaurants.

Couples are being offered 20 percent off the entrance fee at Madame Tussaud’s museum in the US capital, and a two-for-the-price-of-one offer during the week of Valentine’s Day — February 14 — at the news-orientated Newseum.

Born Karola Ruth Siegel in Germany in 1928, Dr. Ruth was sent to a children’s home in Switzerland at the age of 10 to escape the Holocaust.

At 17, she went to Israel, and later moved to Paris where she studied at the Sorbonne and taught kindergarten.

She emigrated to the United States in 1956 and obtained a masters degree in sociology from the New School of Social Research in New York, a doctorate of education from Columbia University, and later studied human sexuality at Cornell University.

In 1980, she started a 15-minute radio program in New York called Sexually Speaking. A year later, the show had grown to an hour-long live show.

Dr Ruth has now appeared on television, has her own website, and even an iPhone app that says sex-related words in the doctor’s distinctive European accent.

Her message to Washington locals and visitors in February was to get out and do something in the city.

“Do something for Valentine’s Day, go to the museum, take the risk to talk to someone. At least you know one thing: this person is not a couch potato,” she said.

SOURCE

Lately, we’ve been a little obsessed with the notches on bedposts. Maybe it’s because a bunch of celeb man whores made us feel like prudes, or a few female celebs made us feel like really Frisky gals (well, except for Joan Crawford). Anyway, what we found so shocking was that, while Warren Beatty supposedly has slept with over 12,775 women since he became a star, by our count, Madonna’s only had 31. It begs the question, how are these men sleeping with this many women, yet the women aren’t sleeping with that many men?

The answer is just as you suspected: They’re lying! And now we have proof thanks to some well-spent tax dollars! According to the most recent “Statistical Abstract Of The United States,” the average dude between 15 and 44 says he’s boned 5.4 women. A quarter of those guys said they slept with more than 15 girls. On the other hand, the ladies only opened up their business for 3.3 men, on average, with only 9.2 percent saying they had more than 15 partners. Are those above-average women the prostitutes who all these men are frequenting? Maybe. But most likely, guys are probably so insecure about being perceived as macho enough to be playahs that they’ll even lie on a confidential census test. Aw, that’s so cute! Not.

Look, handsome, whether or not the vagina-enabled think you’re a stud doesn’t depend on how many women you’ve been able to make sexy times with. Please, guys, keep in mind we gals like experienced gentlemen, and by that we mean a man who has done it with one girl long enough to learn how to do it right. You don’t have to bang half the world to blow us away! All you need is one love, or, uh, 3.3, as the case may be. [Washington Post]

SOURCE

Young Swedes have ever more fluid definitions of sex and sexuality, according to a new study from Malmö University in southern Sweden. Women in particular are more likely to pursue sexual activities with others of the same gender.

“We are seeing a greater openness among young people, particularly among young women. There is an increasing interest in experimenting and pushing boundaries, and a growing resistance to defining oneself as heterosexual, homosexual or bisexual,” Sven-Axel Månsson, a Malmö University sociology professor, told Dagens Nyheter (DN) newspaper.

Månsson and colleague Kristian Daneback surveyed 855 young people between the ages of 18 and 24 via an online questionnaire.

The survey showed that 31 percent of young women and 7 percent of young men said that they were most often sexually attracted to people of the opposite sex, but sometimes they were attracted to people of their own gender.

Thirty-nine percent of the women and 8 percent of the men reported having sexual fantasies about both genders.

Young women were also far more likely than their male counterparts to act on their same-sex fantasies, with 13 percent of female respondents and 3 percent of male respondents reporting that they have had sex with both men and women.

“Girls are less bound by norms than guys are; it is not as taboo for them to have sex with (other women),” Månsson told DN.

He added that the figures for women having sex with other women were “strikingly high”.

“Many no longer wish to be tied in to rigid sexual identities, they want to be open and free as people and as sexual beings. That is my interpretation,” said Månsson.

SOURCE

Truth be told, this is no video. This is Durex’s tribute to the sweet and strange sounds of success.

Why would Durex use this advertisement to sell condoms in China? We’re not sure. Maybe they’re trying to embed subliminal links between condom use and multiple orgasms. Or, more realistically, they’re giving the public the sex they want without running into censorship issues (yet). Either way, everyone can appreciate a quick sampler of orgasms (even if we’re most comfortable with “American style”).

· Durex China: Enjoy moaning (adsoftheworld.com)
· Durex (durex.com)
· Unrelated audiophile pic via Little Liana (galleries.littleliana.com)

SOURCE

The Frisky reports:

Nooooo! Famously never-married couple, Susan Sarandon and Tim Robbins, have split up after 23 years together, her publicist has confirmed.

Sarandon and Robbins met on the set of “Bull Durham,” and, despite a 12-year age difference, had a long relationship and two sons together. (Sarandon’s daughter, Eva Amurri, is from a past relationship.) The split actually occurred over the summer, her publicist explained, but I guess no one noticed until now. [People]

Oh my stars. If Susan Sarandon can’t make a relationship work, what hope is there for the rest of us?

Maddy’s note: Maybe now she can track down Rocky again… gotta look on the bright side somehow, right?

The Frisky has compiled a list of “21 Sexy Christmas Gifts That’ll Gross You Out.” How about some musical Christmas-themed boxers or a Rudolph the Red-Nosed Penis reindeer thong for the man in your life? I have to say, though, I would LOVE an “I Rub My Duckie” rubber duckie vibrator Christmas tree ornament! I don’t see what’s gross about half of these things, actually, but then I see lots of kinky stuff that would blow most people’s minds in putting together this blog. OK, the gaudy holiday sweater for 200 bucks from Ralph Lauren truly IS perverse, I will admit, and I’m not sure who would want an ornament featuring Santa with his pants down to show off his thong underwear. And if you, too, would like your own boob ornament, the article includes links to buy everything. Helpful!

2009: the year of the robot that mimics the love stylings of your favorite pornstars, a tiny little toy jampacked with ten eager tongues, and a wireless vibe that syncs with your iPod. So many innovations…but which were the best?

As the year draws to a close, we’ve reviewed our reviews from 2009, and scientifically determined just which toys were the best of the best this year. Below, our picks for the tops in toys.

10) The Real Touch: With a few rare exceptions, high end (and high tech) sex toys are almost exclusively targeted at women. The Real Touch is looking to change that. A high tech masturbator that syncs with POV porn, the Real Touch may just change the face of toys for boys. True, it has its problems (most notably, the fact that it won’t work if you’re not paying per minute for AEBN’s porn)—but it’s promising enough to give us hope for the future.

9) OhMiBod Freestyle: After years on the scene, the OhMiBod has finally reached its full potential. With the Freestyle’s wireless connection, you can finally rock out to your tunes without being tied down to them.

8 ) Tenth Anniversary Tristan Butt Plug: The Tenth Anniversary Tristan Plug takes a good thing and makes it better (or at least bigger). A beefed up version of the original Tristan plug, the 10th anniversary edition is a must have for any butt aficionado in need of an upgrade.

7) Bolero Straitjacket **BEST LUXURY TOY**: This delightful bondage device combines the efficient immobilization of the straitjacket with the delicious eroticism of being nearly naked. True, it’s not cheap—but if you’re willing and able to invest in your BDSM toy chest, it’s an excellent addition.

6) Imperial: With 11 inches of aircraft quality spun aluminum, the Imperial is bound to please any and all size queens—especially the ones who enjoy toys with the ability to pleasure and violently disfigure.

5) Bloomy: A wonderful dildo for the girls, and a p-spot stimulating butt plug for the boys—Bloomy’s a toy that everyone can enjoy! (Just, uh, remember to sterilize it before sharing.)

4) Finger Tingles **BEST BUY**: Since the day we first discovered sex, we’ve wondered whether there could ever be away to improve on the erotic abilities of the simple little finger. The answer, friends, is yes: with the help of the Finger Tingles, your mild-mannered digit becomes a super finger.

3) Contour Q **BEST DISCREET TOY**: Don’t be fooled by Contour Q’s innocent appearance: these bumpy little massage stones know their way around a woman’s body. And we do mean all parts of the body.

2) Sqweel: With the Sqweel, Love Honey set out to create a toy that replicates the sensation of oral sex. While they may not have quite achieved that goal, they did create a wholly unique toy that stimulates in a very unusual (and very pleasing) way.

1) Form 2: Small, sleek, and super-powered: the rabbit-inspired Form 2 has two silicone ears that are all revved up and ready to rock. And just like a real rabbit, this thing won’t quit until long after you’re satisifed.

SOURCE

Her vagina looks like roast beef curtains. His penis resembles a melting meat popsicle.

When I read or hear comments that regard someone’s genitalia as unsightly, my instinctual response is to say, “no way.” We are all different, but we are all beautiful. Right? Wrong.

I have always wondered if there was such a thing as an unattractive vagina. A quick survey with male colleagues made it clear that looks below the belt matter.

“Yes, there is definitely such a thing as an ugly vagina,” said one man. “It can look like ground meat.”

“Loose skin down there definitely is a big turn off,” another man mentioned.

To be fair, I also asked women about penises and they were equally critical of the male sex organ.

“Discoloration, veins and wrinkles are gross,” one woman said. “Also, please trim the ball hair.”

“An ugly penis is crooked or the head doesn’t look right,” another woman pointed out.

I think pornography is a big factor in unrealistic expectations of what we perceive normal, healthy genitals to be. Visual erotica is full of perfectly trimmed, pink vaginas, while images of extra labia skin and large clitorises, other than on fetish sites, are nearly nonexistent.

Men also become bombarded with imagery of smooth, straight penises that measure to impressive lengths and are surrounded by little hair.

Because of the pressure to look good in the bedroom, more people are turning to genital surgery. The other day, I saw an online ad for vaginoplasty, an unusual cosmetic procedure that can superficially enhance the look of a person’s privates. Genital plastic surgery rose 30 percent in 2006, according to an article from the National Sexuality Resource Center. Men can also change their penis’ aesthetics by having a phalloplasty, which is the enlargement or enhancement of the penis.

If you are self-conscious about how your genitals look, I recommend skipping expensive surgeries and, instead, work on building body confidence. Get to know the area by examining it in a mirror or by touching yourself. Appreciate the fact your intimates are sources for personal pleasure, making love and creating life.

Though my research showed me looks do matter to some, I was pleased to find out, overall, people didn’t care about what their significant other had going on down under.

“If it gives you the ride of your life, don’t drop a guy just because the penis is not good looking,” someone said. “It’s there for a purpose, not a pose.”

Many of the guys I asked said, if they cared about the woman, what her private parts looked like was completely irrelevant.

After all, it’s not the vagina that has the personality.

SOURCE: THE ONION (Yes, really, The Onion)